Managing anger

Do you find that you get angry very easily and that afterwards you feel terrible; really guilty and ashamed? Do you worry that one day your ‘short fuse’ could land you in trouble?

Anger is one of the most powerful emotions you can feel. It can completely take you over and cause rows, fighting, raging and other very destructive behaviour. It can damage relationships, careers, and whole lives because it can have very serious, even irreversible consequences.

When you feel angry chemical changes in the brain cause powerful physical effects. Your body releases adrenalin which in turn releases a surge of energy, making you stronger, faster and more violent than you could ever imagine when you are feeling normal.

Feeling angry is a natural response and sometimes it can be appropriate for example when we witness injustice or cruelty. A constructive reaction would be to focus our anger into making changes, doing something about it! Anger can be a problem when it is an overreaction or when it makes you feel out of control and behave in an out of control way.

If children are angry with friends or at school this can have  consequences for friendships, their self esteem, their ability to socialise and can even lead to school exclusion and so damage their education and life chances.

Social anxiety is one of the main causes of destructive anger. When people feel that they are being judged they will react with anger.

Understanding anger is the first step to controlling it

Anger is always a secondary emotion. Before we feel angry we always feel something else, even if only for a split second. The trigger will be another emotion, for example:

  • Fear. The heart of fear is that some physical, emotional or mental harm will be done to you or someone you care about

  • Sadness. This can be triggered by loss or disappointment.

  • Guilt, embarassment, shame.

  • Feeling that you are being judged (Social Anxiety).

These emotions are frequently the cause of angry feelings as they are so complex and painful. This is because they are caused by our relationships with other people and by what we think of ourselves reflected from the actions and expressions of other people. These feelings are extremely difficult to tolerate.

Lifespan Integration is a gentle therapy which allow you to process events or experiences from the past which will allow you to see the event with an adult perspective and put it into context.


Belief systems drive how we feel about ourselves

Gentle therapy will help you understand yourself and give you and insight into the causes of your anger, your own negative and limiting beliefs and how they affect your thinking every day.
Understanding this means you will be able to ‘spot’ the triggers as they are happening. You can learn to change the way you view yourself and develop an ability to face life’s challenges, knowing that you have the strength, resilience and internal resources to withstand and overcome anything life throws at you.

You will feel a great sense of achievement and pride, when you know that you have taken control of your life and made this happen for yourself. You will feel an enormous relief at knowing that you can change and react differently to experiences which would have caused an angry reaction in the past.

Melanie Collings, can help you manage anger in Ipswich and Wetherden near Stowmarket, Mid Suffolk. In easy reach of: Ipswich, Woodbridge, Colchester, Wickham Market, Felixstowe, Framlingham, Lowestoft, Sudbury, Stowmarket, Needham Market, Martlesham, Wetherden, Elmswell, Woolpit, Thurston, Bury St Edmunds.


Call me for a short free initial consultation on 07855 798 789 or email me:

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I am a Level II trained practitioner in Lifespan Integration and a PICT Practitioner, (Parks Inner Child Therapy); I am trained to help people to overcome anxiety, trauma, and the ongoing effects of childhood neglect or inadequate parenting. I trained as a therapist with the International Association of Evidence Based Psychotherapy ; a highly successful organisation of analytical therapists established in 1985 (previously IAPH). Members of the IAEBP are bound by a code of practice and ethics and all members have satisfied the Examination Board of the Association of their knowledge and competence. I am a member of the National Counselling Society.

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Contact details

07855 798 789

Wetherden, Stowmarket, Suffolk, IP13 3QY

Discretion is my top concern and I assure you that all therapy sessions are completely confidential

Copyright 2021 Melanie Collings MIAPH - All rights reserved